We've Found Our Baby Lily

We sent this letter to our family last week and are so thrilled to now share it with you!!!

As you know, this past year we lost 2 more babies to miscarriages and now have had 2 failed domestic adoptions. It's hard to believe we've gone through 8 losses since we first started trying to have a baby. Since November, we've felt God tugging us toward adopting a "waiting child." When we were unsure if we were ever going to hear from birth mother "A" after we sent her our letter and pictures in February, I contacted a few different agencies and got passwords to review their lists of waiting children. I inquired about many little boys, feeling like maybe we were supposed to adopt a boy after losing our baby boy to miscarriage in January, and I was especially drawn to a particular agency's South Korea adoption program. Each time I inquired, another family had already requested the child's file and had chosen to adopt him.

In April, I noticed an 18 month old little boy who was a preemie like Owen with some special needs, and we requested to view his information. He was available so I spoke with the social worker at the agency and sent our home study and waited to receive his file. I finally received an email saying our study had been reviewed and that I would get a call the next day to talk about the little boy we were interested in. The next morning, I received a call from Ms. P, the social worker I had been talking with for a few months at the agency. She told me she had the file on the little boy we had inquired about but that she also had another child, a brand new little GIRL, who had not even been put on the waiting child list yet, and she wanted to tell me about her if I was interested. I told her we were definitely interested. Ms. P then began to tell me about the little girl she had for us.

She was born November 19TH, the day we learned the baby girl in NJ we named "LILY," who we had hoped would be ours, had gone home with her mother. Our hearts were so broken that day as we longed for this baby we had loved and cared for months before she was born and for her first 3 days of life until her mother decided to see her to say good-bye and then couldn't let her go. This was the day a little baby girl was born in South Korea who would forever change our lives. Her name is Soojung. In Korean, Soojung means "crystal and long life, with hope that she'll shine clear and bright." My mom's name is Sue, and in English it means LILY. Yes, you read that right. Her name means LILY, and she was born the day we learned baby "Lily" who is now "Ava" went home with her mother!

As she talked about this sweet baby girl, I got tears in my eyes and couldn't help but wonder if this baby was meant to be our child. Questions immediately flooded my thoughts. What about "A's" baby's adoption? Will she go through with the adoption plan when he's born? If she does, we won't be allowed to adopt baby girl. If she doesn't, baby girl will likely already be matched with another family. International adoption is so much more expensive than the domestic adoption with our attorney. How will we pay for it? Baby boy isn't due for 2 more months so how will we know what to do? I prayed and prayed about this. We soon received baby girl's file, and when we saw her, we fell in love with her sweet face. We shared her file with our pediatrician for him to review for us. He requested that we request some medical testing that wasn't included in her medical file before making our decision about this sweet baby girl. In May, we went out on a limb, and the agency asked their contacts in Korea if they would have the testing done, and they said Yes. We were afraid her testing would come back and we still wouldn't know what was going to happen with "A's" baby boy. We decided to put it in God's hands and just wait to see what happened.

Well, we continued to pray about and for baby girl as well as "A" and her baby boy and waited to see what was going to happen. Baby boy, who "A" named "Braxton," was born, and we believed he was going to be our child and prepared our hearts to let baby girl go. Then, "A" decided to keep him. Our hearts ached for this baby boy who we already loved, but the more we prayed and talked about the situation, we felt that we had served our purpose in his and "A's" lives and accepted that she was going to keep him. We still had a little baby girl waiting for us. Seeing her precious face and feeling that God sent her to us helped get us through what could have such a devastating time.

Last week, we received the test results from the tests our doctor had requested, and they were normal. We had the answer we had been waiting for. We believe God held baby Soojung for us until now so that we could adopt her as our Lily. She just might be named Lily Soo. :)

So, this week while we were at the beach with Jim's family, I called the adoption agency and spoke with Ms. P, and we have begun the process to adopt our baby girl from South Korea!! She is 7 1/2 months old and absolutely beautiful. We are thrilled that Owen will have a baby sister just 3 years younger than he is and that after two years of praying for more children we will be blessed to bring another child into our family!!!

Because we have her referral already, we could possibly travel to bring her home by Christmas! We are working to get the money together to pay for her adoption, applying for grants and creating fundraisers. We have $25,000 to raise and FAST!! Stay tuned for a great Giveaway (Canon Rebel SLR digital camera, Nintendo Wii with Guitar Hero, Flip Video Camera, Blog Makeover/Templates, Customized Baby/Children's Clothes and Gifts, and more!!). You can donate a small amount for a chance to win one of these very nice items and help us bring Lily home!! We have seen God raise as much as $20,000 in a short time through Giveaways like these and are praying He will bless this one so that we can bring Lily home soon. Thank you to everyone who has already offered to donate items! We are so humbled by how generous you are and how much joy you have for us and baby Lily. If you have any other ideas, please let me know.

I have already had a friend offer help! She owns a business called AllyZabba. You may have seen her link on my blog before, but if not, you will love her silky polka dot and plush blankets for babies and kids (and grownups too)!!! She gave us two last year, one for Owen and one for our next little miracle, and they are the softest blankets you've ever felt, very well-made, and SO CUTE! Please visit AllyZabba and check out Jill's beautiful gifts! AllyZabba is offering a special coupon code for Lily. Each order that comes in with the code lily will receive 10% off their order. Also, 30% of the total order will go directly to the Bring Lily Home fund!! Feel free to pass the coupon code on to your friends. The more people who know about the fundraiser, the more funds we can get to bring Lily home.

My friend Ginger has also offered to help! She will donate 15% of all orders from her store if you mention Lily at checkout!! She has the cutest boutique called Nala that sells jewelry, handbags, shoes and more! She also does trunk shows in the Middle Tennessee area and will donate 15% of sales from shows to our Bring Lily Home fund too if you are interested in booking a show!!

Also, I am hosting a Gold Party next weekend if anyone is interested in sending me your gold to sell for you. You can donate it for the adoption, or I can send you the money!! The certified gemologist who will be at the party will give us a percentage, 10-20% I believe, of the total made for the night to go into our adoption fund! I went to two of these parties this past Spring, and I made $1000! This money was exactly what we needed to be able to start "Braxton's" adoption. The families who hosted the parties for their adoptions made close to $3000 and $8000 just by having these parties. Ask your families, your friends, anyone you can think of that might have old gold jewelry they might want to get ride of, and they can send it to the party! We are hoping we can raise the money to adopt Lily soon so she can be home by her first birthday in November!

Thank you to those of you who have already surprised us with donations, some in person, some through our PayPal donation button on our blog, and some anonymously delivered through friends. We needed to have $250 by this Monday, and Friday we were given donations that totaled almost $250. Then, today a friend offered to pay for our airfare to get to LA and back when we travel to Korea, and she is going to see if there is anything she and her husband can do to help with the international flights too! What an unexpected blessing! I cry every time I think about how things are just coming together. This is meant to be. This child is our Lily. We need $810 by next week for the U.S. gov't form (I-600A) and fingerprinting, which is what we will be waiting for to be processed to be able to travel (!!), and we are confident it will come.

There are more than 143 million orphans in the world, and although we felt we were being called to adopt here at home, God had bigger plans for us. We were meant to be in the lives of two mothers and two babies for a short time but not to keep these little ones forever. In 2006, we felt God calling us to Russia, and now He has called us to South Korea. He has chosen these children for us, and we know He will provide! When God says go, we go! :)

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. John 14:18

One of my favorite non-Scripture quotes is from someone named Greg Anderson. I bought a magnet while in college with this on it, and I had no idea how much it would speak to me later in my life. I stumbled upon it last week, and I put it in my kitchen window. It says, "Never give up. This may be your moment for a miracle." I feel like that has been the running theme of the past 5 and especially the last 2 years. We've gone where God has led us, and now it's time. Our miracle is unfolding, and our daughter is waiting for us.

We are so thankful for and blessed by every single one of you, and we are so excited and thankful to God that we have found our baby Lily!


Many Blessings,

Catching Up

We had a great time at the beach this past week. Jim, Owen, and I drove to the Gulf Coast and spent time in Orange Beach, AL with his mother, our niece and nephew, and 3 cousins! We had two 3 year olds, a 6 year old, an 8 year old, a 16 year old, and 4 adults. It was fun!

Thought I would share some photos before posting about our news :)

It's Hard

This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

Knowing that Braxton is just 20 minutes away and could be with us tomorrow if we said Yes is hard. Knowing that if we did say Yes that he would only be here as a foster placement is hard. Learning today that the legal father wants nothing to do with him which would make keeping him easier is hard. Hearing Braxton's uncle say that there is no chance on earth his mother is ever going to stay clean and secure a job and place to live to get Braxton back but knowing she has the time to try to do this is hard. Hearing Braxton's mother say she wants us to take him but that she doesn't want to sign adoption papers is hard. Hearing that she is receiving a check each week for him right now is hard. Knowing how much Owen would love to have a baby brother or sister and that Braxton could be that child but that it would be so hard on him if Braxton came and didn't stay is hard. Knowing how much we would love and cherish this child and that we could give him such a wonderful life but just don't have peace with taking all that comes along with him is hard. Letting this baby go is what is best for our family, but it's so hard.

Knowing that God is taking care of Braxton and that so many of you are praying for him with us helps. Knowing that there is another family out there just waiting for a child and that Braxton will be the answer to their prayers helps. Knowing that God has already shown us our next child, and that if we take Braxton and all that comes with him we can't have this child makes it a little easier, but it still hurts letting him go (again).

I am looking forward to making our announcement tomorrow to share with you our little secret once all of this is done. Thank you all for your sweet friendship and prayers.

Braxton

"A" called tonight and left me a message saying she and her brother want us to take Braxton. I called and spoke with her brother, who was very nice, for about 2 hours. Through our conversation, I learned even more about "A" and her life and also about why he, his wife, and 8 year old daughter can't keep a newborn baby. They work full-time, and their world has been turned upside down this week. He would love for Braxton to go to a family who is ready for a newborn and would love him the way he deserves to be loved and cared for. He also understands though if we can't take Braxton and why. Our reasons are very similar.

Braxton will more than likely go to foster care or to A's mother-in-law on Monday or Tuesday if we don't take him. As I sit in my living room typing while seeing our empty baby swing out of the corner of my eye, it's so hard to step away knowing what we could give to this baby boy, that all we have to do is say Yes and he could be here now. The situation with "A" and the legal father is so messy though, and she is not committing to the adoption plan. She still has rights to Braxton and has time to prove herself to be fit to be his mother before her rights will be taken away by the state. We would have him as a foster-like situation (temporary custody) until she met her criteria and he was returned to her or she lost her rights and we could adopt him.

Tonight we find ourselves preparing our hearts to walk away again. Maybe she could call the other family she considered to adopt him, and maybe they would feel more comfortable fostering him until he is (if he is ever) available for adoption. Like our attorney told me today, if we decide to take him until we know what his future will be, we still aren't guaranteed to keep him. We still have to fight against the legal father if he will not surrender his rights to the baby. And, it will be much harder to let him go after so much time with him than it is now. He advised us that if we want to adopt another child, we should probably let him go and focus on bringing home our next little one.

Maybe we have done our part in Braxton's life... Maybe we have given "A" enough to get on her feet and stay there to either keep Braxton or to change her life for herself.... Letting go of someone you love is never easy, but we have to do what is best for us and our little family.

Please God protect this baby boy and let him know Your love and the love of a forever family wherever that may be. Please give us peace with the decision you would have us to make, and please when the ties are broken, let them be fully severed so that this rollercoaster doesn't have to continue.